I am not organized, and for the most part I choose to wing it in almost every area of my life. However, lately there have been way too many uncertainties in my life, leaving me feeling confused, a little lost, and sick to my stomach.
I have no idea where my education/career is going. I met with my adviser and found out that it is possible for me to graduate a semester early, which is great! But now I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get into the classes that I need to, let alone have enough classes to take to be a full time student this semester. Sick feeling begins.
On that note, since I have no idea what my schedule will be next semester, I have no idea what my job situation is going to look like. Will I be able to keep the one I currently have or have to search for a completely different one last minute?
In addition, it feels like 99% of the people around me know where they're going, or at least which direction they're going, with their relationships. I, however, seem to be stuck in the quicksand of square one.
Also, I have no clue what I'll be doing or where I'll be this summer. Home with Mom and Dad? Back in Great Falls? Stay here in Bozeman? Or go someplace completely random and crazy just to get a little experience in me?
Even little things, like what finals will be like, will I be able to get through them and end the semester with a good GPA?
I realize I am venting/complaining when I have so much to be grateful for. I have great friends and a great family and great opportunities ahead of me and a great God working with me. I'm so thankful for all of that!
But I just never expected to feel so young and uncertain at this point in my life! It's pretty scary, but I know that is where the magic begins.
So, here's to all my college friends: One day we will look back on this time and it will all make sense. But until then let's just roll with the punches, pray through the hard times, and find the beauty in the madness!
