Sparkling Years!

It's been a while since I have written one of these! But with 2014 in my rear view and 2015 just hours away, I can't help but reflect and project.

Last year at this time I never would have dreamed where I'd be at today. I was single, still plugging away at school, living in an apartment, and had no inkling of what I would do after graduation. Today I am engaged to my best friend and love of my life, a college graduate, living in my own home, and ready to begin my future as an educator in Sunburst. Out of all of the years I've lived, 2014 has thrown the most glitter into my life, and I am so blessed by my God!

On December 31st every year, people make resolutions to better their lives, relationships, and selves. For me it's always been to lose weight, take more risks, or other things along those lines. But this year I resolve to:

1. Trust in God wholeheartedly. That's always been one of my biggest sins, but seeing what He's done in my life this year has proved to me that Jeremiah 29:11-13 is so true. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

2. Think thoughts of gratitude. There are always going to be ways that life can be improved. But even when times are hard, if you look closely, you will see that God is everywhere, giving out thousands of blessings daily. I am happier than I have ever been, and I want to always be grateful for the beautiful amount of sparkle!

3. Love the way Jesus loves. This one is also hard for me. Loving like Jesus means seeing past unkind actions and words, things I may not agree with, and negativity. To attempt to love like Jesus, I constantly have to remind myself that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Though I plan to love Kyle this way forever, I need to include everyone else in that philosophy as well.

These are not just resolutions for the coming year, but lifelong goals. I will never master these, but with a conscious effort I can improve my life, self, and relationships every year.

With that said, thank you, God, for giving me the best future husband I could ever dream of, amazing new friends and experiences, a home to call mine, and a college degree all in 2014. It was a year I will cherish forever.

I hope everyone has had a 2014 full of blessings, and will have a beautiful and sparkly 2015!

xo <3

Positive Spins

Technically, it’s spring, my favorite season. I love watching the dirty icebergs of snow disappear, smelling fresh rain drops brewing in the clouds, and seeing soft blades of green popping up and taking over the ground’s brown, prickly blanket.

It was supposed to come here a week ago, however, as white puffs cloud my vision outside, I have come to the conclusion that spring is extinct.

Besides taking a shot in the dark (or white, I guess) as to where I’m going when I drive, my favorite part about today’s blizzard was having to put the hood of my sweatshirt over the bun on my head. I walked across campus looking like a mutant dinosaur in Ugg boots. Cute.

And now that I’m done complaining, let me reveal the silver lining of this long winter (and also life’s metaphorical winters).

Bad things force you to find the good in your life.

Unless you want to go crazy from being annoyed by the winter that can’t take a hint about leaving, you have to find little things in your life to build up your happiness. For example, today one of the little girls I nanny for said, “Ronnie? Actually winter’s kind of pretty. Snow is sparkly!” Winter’s been here for so long that I’ve forgotten to really look that there truly is beauty in it.

Also, I’ve noticed that I’ve been appreciating the people in my life more and more lately. The love, support, and happiness they bring me are better than even the earliest spring!

I’ve even started re-noticing little things, like the fun paintings I have hung in my room, that I have enough clothes to not do laundry for a month, and the immense amount of books I have waiting to be read on my bookshelf and kindle.

When something is frustrating and won’t seem to go away, sometimes all that’s left is the little things. And then when you start noticing those things, you start appreciating them again, and when you appreciate them you realize they are actually the big things.

When things are going well, it’s natural to start taking everything for granted. But after a storm is over, you appreciate what you once forgot to even notice. I know that this long winter will lessen the amount of “It’s too hot!” complaints this summer!

I know I didn’t perfectly articulate the message I wanted to get across in this, but let me sum it up by saying this:

Every cloud has a silver lining. And if you look closely enough, that silver lining has little specks of glitter that will rain down on you if you just take the time to notice them. Even in the worst storm, we can still find some glitter in our hair at the end of the day. J Xo <3

Snow Globes

I’m not sure how this idea even popped into my head, because it’s kind of weird, but bear with me as I try to explain my thoughts from this morning.

Think of the little characters inside snow globes. They are so cute with their little scenes, just going about their day with sparkles on the ground. Then someone takes them and turns them upside down and shakes them all around. Ah! But then they are set back down and the sparkles float around so beautifully until they finally settle and the scene is back to normal.

Well, I think that life is kind of like that, too. We are all just cute little figurines inside our snow globes, for the most part pretty content with our lives. But sometimes things happen that turn our lives upside down and shake us up.

Initially, that event feels disorienting, stressful, and scary. We worry about how we can go on or how we will get our lives back in order. We have been tossed around inside our snow globes.

But I believe that after every time we are turned upside down, beauty comes from it, just like a snow globe. Sparkles come down in the form of new friends, stronger relationships, better character, or fresh perspectives.

We can close our eyes when things get rough because we are afraid, but if we forget to open them in the aftermath, we miss discovering all of the positive “sparkles” that come from it.

We’re all going through things that are hard. We’re all in snow globes that get shaken up. But all of our snow globes have beautiful sparkles in them. Let’s remember the enchanting beauty that dwells in our lives every day in the midst of stress, heartache, and fear.

Happy winter! Xo <3 J

Candy Corn, Scarves, and Crunchy Leaves

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote these words a long time ago, but I'm really feeling their truth right now, in 2013.

Of course I'm excited for the change of season because I love wearing boots and scarves and sweaters, delight in anything pumpkin flavored, and feel alive when I breathe in that certain fall scent. But this year, I'm excited for the change because I can feel a change in my life, too.

As the leaves change and fall off the trees, and the weather gets cooler, I'm feeling similar things happen to me.

Just like the change of colors, my ideas and thoughts about life are also changing...getting deeper and richer. I've learned a lot over this past year about who I am and who I want to be. I no longer stand by as I let things or people bother me. I've started taking more action in my life, because I know that I'm the only person who can make my life how I want it to be.

Just like the leaves falling from the trees, I can feel my past mistakes, heartaches, and regrets falling off of me. I'm stripped down to my trunk and branches, ready to prepare for new leaves, new and better experiences, to come later down the road. But for now it's just me, and that's okay.

And just like the air getting crisper, my faith and relationships are getting tighter. For warmth I rely upon God, family, and friends. Those relationships will be my hat, gloves, and coat when things get cold.

Fall is good. :)

Not a Mystery!

It's been a while since I've done one of these puppies. And I know I've done many like this one I'm about to write. But after my embarrassing display of my love of suckers that I willingly put on facebook for the world to see tonight (I bought over 400, in case you missed that), I have been forced to reflect on some of the many reasons why I am still single...a lot of which have developed as a result of living alone this summer.
1. I eat at least 3 pickles a night.
2. Girl Code is my favorite TV show.
3. I paint my nails at least every other day...because I scrape the nail polish off with my teeth...attractive, I know.
4. I laugh. Loudly. When I'm by myself. Often.
5. I don't cook. I've had marshmallows and graham crackers for dinner 4 out of the 7 days this week...
6. I'm dramatic. About everything. You should read my diary.
7. I spend 40 hours a week with three little girls under the age of 8..."You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with; choose wisely." ...well...you do the math.
8. If you don't smile at me when you say hi to me or add an explanation mark to the end of your texts to me I will think that you hate me. And cry.
9. I get excited really easily. And when I get excited I sing, and yell, and jump, and dance, and thrash...and people have gotten hurt by my excitement before.
10. I believe everything I hear. Gullible is spelled on every ceiling I've stood under. Woops.
And obviously, I am not mysterious. I have no secrets about myself...obviously. Ha :)
Hope everyone's having a lovely summer! :) Xo <3

Skipping Under Rainbows

Having been around much older siblings and cousins my whole life, I've always been in kind of a hurry to grow up. I started kissing boys at 3, asking boys on "dates" at 8, wearing makeup at 11, falling in love at 14. And now I'm on track to graduate college and step out into an actual career at 21.
I've always been so eager to grow up so I can be on the same page as my sisters and cousins that I've never really appreciated the stage I'm at. But now as I look at all I have to accomplish before the last week of April and my schedules for classes this summer and fall semesters, I'm sort of regretting this growing up early thing. I guess it's something we can't really avoid, though, so it doesn't really matter...but I just don't know if I'm ready to be an adult.

I still wait to write a 5 page paper until 6 hours before it's due. 
I still watch hours of TV shows on Netflix. 
I still skip when I'm happy. 
I still eat too much candy. 
I still press snooze a million times before I actually get up in the morning. 
I still cry when I am confused or frustrated. 
I still haven't cooked anything besides macaroni and cheese for dinner. 
I still talk too loud and laugh by myself about things my brain tells me.
I still sing and dance like a child when I'm by myself.
I still talk to myself when I'm driving.
I still think that everyone is good, all the time.
I still get happy when I see rainbows or pink or sparkles.
I still have a unicorn pillow pet on my bed.

I'm planets away from being a grown-up. But it's coming faster and faster every day and I guess I'll just have to find a way to stop being such a child or find a way to hide it better! I'm thinking the latter seems more realistic!
But never mind all of my babbling! I have a paper to write that's due in....9.5 hours, instead of 6. Hey! Maybe I am growing up after all :)
"Growing up won't bring us down!" -The Maine

Second Storm

Just as there can be many sources of happiness, I also believe there can be many sources of strength. Over the past (almost) 20 years I have earned a great deal of strength...by God, the people put in my life, the things I've been through, and the things I've had to let go of.
But I'd like to take this time to reflect on how the things we let go of give us strength. At this same point in time two years ago, I was finally letting go of something I had been trying to let go of for a long time. I said, "This time, I mean it." And I did. But it took a while to convince others, and even myself. Because for 3 years I had been the girl who cried wolf. I wrote a blog about burning bridges and never looking back, and I can proudly say that I really never did look back at that toxic river. I moved on to greener pastures and I picked wildflowers in sunny meadows. It's easy to be strong when the wind is at your back.
But then something happened that I never thought about. I came across yet another obstacle I would have numerous battles letting go of. This obstacle wasn't a toxic river, but a deadly storm. This wasn't a storm that came across me by chance, though. This was a storm that I saw a mile away and still walked right into the eye of.
I'm not sure why I willingly got myself into this mess. This storm tore me up, pounded me against the ground, and threw me up in the air. It's been a little over a year and a half since it began, and though I know I risk sounding like the girl who cried wolf again, I think I'm ready to burn this bridge as well. And I'm coming out of the storm with more strength than I've ever had.
Though life will never be perfect, sunshine-y meadows like I once thought, I know that I can find flowers through snow and that I can see sunshine through clouds and that whatever happens, I will always come out tougher than before.
"I am not what I have done, I am what I have overcome."