Prom: Then and Now

I woke up at 7:30 this morning and a flood of memories came rushing through me. So I pulled out a notebook and started writing. It ended up reminding me of a blog post...so, although it makes me feel slightly vulnerable to share it, I decided that I would post it on here...enjoy!

     Three years ago I woke up at this same hour, anxious for my first prom. Now here I am, trying to savor the day of my last.
     That day I woke up and wandered downstairs, looking for something to pass the time. I settled on watching 13 Going on 30. I got my hair done in a beautiful Carrie Underwood half updo. Brooke, who was still in college, did my shimmery makeup. Then Momma and her helped tie me into my bronze pickup skirt dress. I looked in the mirror and was proud of my tanned, clear skin, gorgeous hair, beautiful dress, and glowing face. I couldn't wait for my boyfriend, whom I loved dearly, to come pick me up.
     As he was finally getting near I slipped into my silver sparkle strappy heels. He arrived in a white tux with a corsage for me and a yellow rose for my mom. He  kissed my head and told me how proud he was that I was his girl. We posed for pictures, and then we were off. I was so happy...he looked so good!
     We went to a fancy restaurant, The Lighthouse, with another senior couple. I spilled some alfredo sauce on my dress, thankfully able to wipe it off with a cloth napkin. In the car on the way back to the high school he held my hand, as he always did, feeling the rhinestone embellishment at the edge of my long french manicure.
     We got to the high school for pictures and walked through Grand March. Then he was crowned king! I was so proud of my tall and handsome boyfriend, and I couldn't believe out of all the girls in the world, he loved me! We danced and sang to each other all night. I particularly remember him smiling and shaking his head as I danced around him and sang Taylor Swift's "Our Song." When we weren't dancing we were sitting together off to the side of the dance floor, talking and savoring every moment together, for he would be graduating in less than a month.
     After the dance we changed into more comfortable clothes and then went to a friend's house for a short while. But we were both falling asleep, so we went back to my house. We lay on the basement couch, just talking and laughing, and then he eventually fell asleep. I will never forget what I felt that night: dread about what was to come after he graduated, happiness and gratefulness for the present, and love for the boy sleeping (also snoring) beside me.
     Looking back on who I was that first prom, I'm proud of what I've grown into for the last. Sure, I might not have a boyfriend or feel as justified to strut my stuff as I used to, but I have grown up.
     I've learned to be strong and stand on my own two feet. I've learned how to be a better friend, I've dealt with heart break, and learned how to let go.
     I'm not the innocent, naive, lovestruck 15 year old girl that I was three years ago. I am an independent, strong, just-as-happy-by-herself  adult who knows exaclty who she is.

So here's to Prom 2011.

Here's to the greatest friends anyone could ask for.

Here's to dancing the night away.

Here's to NEW memories.

Here's to knowing (and loving) who we are.

<3

The Greatest Woman I Know

Although most of you are probably expecting some random, deep blog or even a blog about how prom is tomorrow (:)) I am switching things up. Tonight I am going to write about my mom..
I don't think she realizes how many lives, young and old, she has touched. Being an aid in her classroom this year has allowed me to witness that first hand. Her desk is full of well-deserved "I love you Mrs. Gillund" notes, colorful drawings, and other results of the first grade creative mind. Even kids that have the most behavior problems come up to her randomly in the middle of the day to give her a hug and tell her how pretty she is or how much they loved her. Though she makes a difference in every one of her student's lives, and though they all completely adore her and her fun and kind teaching style, I have got to see first hand how she has touched one little girl's life. This little girl comes from a rough home, and although she is tiny and adorable, she has had many behavior issues. But throughout the year I have watched how my mom handled these problems, and how, slowly but surely, this little girl is developing a sense of right and wrong in which she has learned from my mom. I believe that if my mom had the chance to be her teacher until she graduated, that little girl would most definately become a model citizen.
My mom is a fantastic teacher. I've heard many cases where parents will wait to move from Sunburst just so their child can be taught by the infamous Mrs. Gillund. She is a truly one of a kind, enthusiastic, kind, patient, and compassionate teacher. She has given me the inspiration to continue my education in the field of Elementary Education, and I hope to be half as great a teacher as she is.
Not only is my mom a great teacher, but she is also a great friend. Though she devotes 99% of her time to her family, she would do anything for any one of her friends, no matter what. She has modeled for me how to be a great friend my whole life.
My momma is a great mom to my siblings and me. Whether it is showing up to events (no matter how pointless it may seem to us), helping us out financially, listening to us complain, giving us advice on how to deal with conflicts, or just holding us when we need to cry, if it wasn't for her, I don't think any of us would be the people we are today. I am very proud of my relationship with her by the fact that I tell her everything. Not many teenage girls are willing to share everything with their mothers. But that is how cool, fun, understanding, and kind my mom is. She and I have an almost constant banter that drives my dad nuts. But to us it just proves how alike, and close we are. She is the first one my sisters and me come to when we have happy news or when we need someone to help us through a tough time.
I could go on forever, but for now I will end with this. I thank God every day for the amazing mom that I have. She is kind to everyone, stronger than anyone I know, and a great influence on everyone around her. She is the greatest woman I know.
I love you, Momma. <3

Avoidance and Stuff Like That

Low inspiration.

High expectations.

Why is it that just as my life is about to begin it feels as if I'm stuck on pause?

Fear not!

It will soon be gone, and I will be looking back to this waiting period as a peaceful, calming time before my life went on.

With sparkles in my eyes, fireworks in my heart, and butterflies in my stomach I will wait.

Life will go on.

<3 :)

Copy Kitten

A. Age: 18

B. Bed size: Full

C. Chore you dislike: Dusting. It all comes back in like 30 seconds anyways...

D. Dogs: LOVE! I have some great dogs in my life. Andy and Bobby who are oldies but the sweetest mellowest dogs ever and I YUV THEM! Cody and Riley who are crazy and hyper and fun and affectionate and I YUV THEM!  And Chance who is crazy and lovable and too big for his own good :) and I YUV HIM!

E. Essential start to your day: Lately it has been early morning workouts with Jacoba. I love spending the hours before school with her and the work out ladies who wear thongs over their spandex shorts. "Plyametric (spelling?) jumps now!....Lots of energy!"

F. Favorite color: Pink. But I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings. I do love all the other colors. Plus I love SPARKLES!

G. Gold or silver: Doesn't matter. Both are shiny and look beautiful with pretty much anything. It depends on what type of vibe I'm feeling. Gold is for my hippie sun goddess vibe and silver is for my classy beauty queen vibe. :P

H. Height: Welp...I'm not exactly sure. I keep telling myself 5'7" but I'm pretty sure I'm up to 5'8" now. Awesome...I love being tall...not.
 
I. Instruments you play(ed): Flutey flute. Pianoey piano. Guitarey guitar.

J. Job title: Procrastinator, avoider of work, senioritis victim.

K. Kids: Love them. Can't wait to see my beautiful niece Skylar soon and niece to be Haylie in July! Kisses to those little butterflies. <3

L. Live for ______: hyper moments with my family and beautiful friends. Meeting new people and getting a good vibe from them. Singing at the top of my lungs. That moment when one more thing in my life makes sense.

M. Most memorable moment: How. The heck. Am I supposed to choose that? Probably summers at the lake with sisters and cousins. The simple, happy times under a warm sun and fresh mountain air. Take me back there, anyone?

N. Nicknames: Ronnie, Ron, Ron Ron, Spatula :)

O. Overnight hospital stays: knock on my wooden door. none.

P. Pet peeves: People stating their opinion like its a fact. Wishy washy people who won't make a decision. Myself when I lose my pencils at school every five minutes.

Q. Quote from a movie: No, I could not think of one off the top of my head. Yes, I googled it. No, google does not have a very good data base for movie quotes. So yes, I will use a Superstar quote. "I would just like everyone to know that I am multi-talented, but today I have chosen to express myself through song."

S. Siblings: Courageous, musically-talented, kind, and so much like Dad it's not even funny- Roman
                 Intelligent, kind hearted, sensitive, gorgeous, and preggers (YAYYY!)- Brianna
                 Organized, relatable, caring, beautiful, life of the party, practical in a good way- Brooke
T. Time you wake up: It's been 5 a.m.....those work outs with Jacoba...fun but totally kill me :)
U. University attended: Not yet....but in about four months I will be attending Montana State University Bozeman! So scared but so excited :)
V. Vegetables: Only raw. Carrots. Cucumbers. Pickles. Cooked corn, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli.
W. What makes you run late: I "dilly dally". Big time. I am a day dreamer and an avoider of annoying but simple tasks. (As we speak I am avoiding packing, photocopying a couple scholarships, and having my mom sign off on my guitar minutes...I suck)
X. X-rays you’ve had: Dental x-rays (NO WISDOM TEETH!!) and x-rays on my lung/chest area when I was being attacked by asthma in middle school/junior high era.
Y. Yummy food you make: I make a mean bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. Haha :)
Z. Zoo animal favorites: Dolphins! I also love seein the gorillas at the zoo cuz they are always just sittin around chomping on some paper or hiding behind it. Or pressed up against the glass staring at little babies. Gosh I love gorillas.

Happiness is Relative

A few of my favorite things.... :)

Notebook and sharpies...I heart writing...and pretty colors :)

This little light of mine!!! Yes I'm 18 and still sleep with a night light (sometimes) :)

I have TWO beautiful hula hoops! I love hula-ing

Graduation ring Momma just got me...love this very very much

Peace signs!!!

I have tons of makeup...and I love love love it :P

Victoria's secret sexy little things perfume...delightful!

AAAH NAIL POLISH! <3

My prom shoes. Sparkles <3 :)

My daddy's guitar. Beautiful sound and lovely to play :)

Momma's piano. I'm not the best pianist but that doesn't mean I can't plunk around! :)

Our candy drawer....enough said... :)

My iPod!!! And all the music on it :)

I made this sign a while ago with Brooke. Although I love the sign, it's the principle of the sign that I really love :)

Purple shiny zebra purse from Brianna :) so fabulous!

Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed a little look into my life :P

Happy Sunday!

<3

I'm Mostly Secondary

"Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for givin' over. You better know that in the end it's better to say to much than never to say what you need to say again."
Although I am a big fan of his music and lyrics, I don't think John Mayer got it right with this one. First of all, how do you distinguish between something that COULD be said and something that NEEDS to be said? And then even when you figure that out, problems still oppose. Saying what you need to say sometimes can save a whole situation you are in, but I think most people are intelligent in the fact that if they are not saying something that they need to say it is (for the most part) for a good reason.
Take me, for example. There are a few important thoughts that have been crowding my head...one for the past four months, one for the past three, and one for the past two. But I can tell you right now that if I made those thoughts known it wouldn't change anything for the good at all.
Thought number one: This thought is about taking something that's decent in my life and making it a million times better. But saying this would risk losing the decent and then being left with nothing. My life is uneventful enough as it is...I don't need to lose one more (remotely) exciting aspect of my life. Vocalizing this thought also means tearing some walls down and being vulnerable and most likely getting hurt and probably causing a little drama. Which neither are ever a good time. So no, John Mayer, I will not say what I need to say.
Thought number two: This thought would not do any good. It's something that I would like to happen but is impossible. No changes will come out by saying this, except for the fact that school would be awkward and I would definately be teased and bothered. No great big amazing movie climax moment with an inspiring song playing in the background will result by stating this...so once again, no, John Mayer, I will not say what I need to say.
Thought number three: This thought is taking a good aspect of my life and changing it...but I still haven't figured out if it would be for the better or the worse. So stating this could be catastrophic for two reasons...if it changed for the worse then I would always be thinking, "Stupid John Mayer, why did I have to say that and screw everything up?", and also saying this could ruin the good aspect and I could be rejected and hurt...which as I have said before is not a unicorn ride under a sparkly rainbow. So for the third time, no, John Mayer, I will not say what I need to say.
I just don't think it's necessary. What if what you need to say will hurt someone? What if it ruins opportunities? What if saying it brings on new thoughts that "need" to be said, and then you say that and it makes things even worse?
If it doesn't change anything for the good, what's the point?

P.S. I am now the owner of a water filled purple sparkly hula hoop. :)

I'm a Fool!

So it's happened...
I've actually uncovered the perfect boy :)
This crazy month I have been to Salt Lake City, Great Falls, Missoula, Billings, Helena, and Calgary, and wouldn't ya know out of all those places I found one good one!
First off let me just say that he is extremely good looking. I don't know how I lucked out with getting someone who is so gorgeous!
He enjoys my eccentric and childish sense of humor, and he says his favorite thing about me is my quirky personality...who knew someone would actually be attracted to what leaves most people slowly backing away from me.
He plays guitar and he is an excellent singer. And he loves the same music as me...what many people describe as "preppy punk"...but not him. I don't have to tolerate ridiculous rap, boring blue grass, or jokey jazz. :)
Also, I never feel like I am bothering him. Which is rare! And I find myself smiling like a fool whenever he even crosses my mind. It's embarrassing.
He is completely selfless! I have to argue in order to make sure he gets what he wants. He insists on paying for everything, he won't say anything about himself until he has asked me at least a billion questions about my day.
He really makes me smile.
Well now that I've gone on and on about this boy let me tell you just one more thing about him...
He doesn't exist....
That's right, I just April Fooled you!
Did you really think that there was a boy like that? I'm pretty sure they aren't made like that anymore.
Don't get me wrong...this is not a list of  "requirements" that I have for a boyfriend...just an example. Trust me, I'm not so stupid to expect that much from someone of the male species ;)
So, oh well, right? :) Someday someone will come and take me by surprise...
and until then, I'll enjoy my evenings alone watching chick flicks, reading silly novels, and eating too much candy.
Happy April Fool's day :)