It all starts with a witnessing of a single event. Or maybe a couple similar events.
For that girl wishing for a boyfriend it was watching an adorable couple hold hands in the mall.
For that boy wishing for bigger muscles it was watching all the girls swoon over the quarterback.
For that student wishing for a college degree it was seeing a successful man or woman talking on his or her cell phone wearing designer shoes and fancy glasses.
Or maybe it was none of those at all. Like I said, these are MOST wishes we are speaking of.
To make this a little more personal, let me use myself circa 2007. It was the summer before high school and I was at a choir camp with my best friend. We were two of the youngest people there, but the older ones were so nice and welcoming to us, we only felt out of place for the first day.
So that wish of mine before high school, to be the girl that everyone wanted to be around, started with watching a beautiful girl with brown eyes, curly blonde hair, and a guitar interact with everyone at the camp. I soon realized that everyone remembered everything about her from previous years at the camp, and those who didn't know her felt like her best friend after the next few days. She led sing a longs around the camp fire with her guitar decorated with colorful swirls, flowers, and designs she had painted on herself. All of the boys did everything they could to get around her and all of the girls came to her with questions and to feel like they mattered to someone.
This girl inspired me. I wished to be the girl everyone wanted to be around.
Then the wish becomes a possibility, and you focus on it and take actions toward it.
For the girl wishing for a boyfriend, it's being brave enough to go up and talk to boys she is interested in.
For the boy wishing for bigger muscles, it's putting on those gym shorts and walking into that weight room.
For the student wishing for a college degree, it's applying to every possible school and for every possible scholarship.
For me, it was squashing my fears of being rejected and walking up to strangers and talking to them. Of course, at first the strangers started out as males only, since girls intimidated me back then (and still sometimes do). But slowly but surely I became more comfortable with starting conversations with anyone I chose to.
I began this step at the tri-county fair in a town nearby. I was with two of my friends, discussing my "wish", when we decided to try to be bold that night. We were only fourteen, so bold was maybe asking a guy to buy us a snow cone, or to sit by us at the demolition derby. But we did it. I remember having a blast surrounded by people that I never thought I would be "cool" enough to even talk to. That night I wrote in my journal about how nice everyone was to me, and even mentioned a cute boy who was going to be a senior at my school who I had talked with. (Needless to say, that boy eventually became a boyfriend...) I had taken actions toward my wish.
After the wish becomes a possibility, it becomes a reality, whether it be for a day, a month, or five years.
So that girl wishing for a boyfriend? She's got him.
That boy wishing for bigger muscles? Now quarterback of the football team.
And that student wishing for a college degree? In college, on his or her way toward a PhD.
For me, once Freshman year started, my wish may have started to become a reality, or maybe it was just me coming out of my shell, making new friends. Whatever it was, I was happy and having a great time. I was invitied to parties by one of the nicest senior girls who became a good friend. I was trying to decide between TWO cute boys, and I felt like I had it all together. I stopped thinking less about that girl at choir camp and more about what I was going to do tomorrow, which friend I had to get a birthday present for, and "that boy."
Once the wish is a reality is where the real test is. It either sticks, or it doesn't. You either regret ever wanting it in the first place, or you're proud of the steps you've taken to get to where you're at.
So the girl with the boyfriend, the quarterback with big muscles, the college graduate? Not sure what happened to them.
But what happened to me?
Well I'm still trying to figure that out. I don't know if my wish ever came true. And if it did, I'm not sure if it stuck. But do I regret the wish?
Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes I want everyone to like me, and when someone doesn't, I feel crushed. I want to be everyone's friend but not everyone wants to be my friend. I look back on everything that happened my that first year of high school and I realize that it was a big part of shaping who I am today. Even though I sometimes may feel like that scared little girl without her momma at choir camp, I've gotten better at hiding that. My skin is thicker, my mind is smarter, and my heart is stronger.
Wishes. We all have them, and we all journey through their anatomy.
But I don't think I believe that you should be careful what you wish for. That's nonsense. Because every wish that you care enough to do something about leads you through a series of twists and turns, ups and downs, backs and forths. There is something to be learned from every wish, whether it sticks or not, you wish you hadn't wished it, or you don't. You learned.
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