Those of you who know me well, or are my facebook friends at least, know that I have been as single as a frying pan for such a long time. Sometimes I get annoyed with it, but mostly I'm perfectly content with it...FOR NOW. The other day my lovely Jordyn and I were laughing about my unfortunate luck with boys when I was inspired to create this blog....19 because I will be that many years in just a few short days!
19 Reasons Why I'm Single
1. I spend many Saturday nights doing homework, cleaning my room, and squirting reddi whip into my mouth.
2. To this day any guy that I've ever even had a slight crush on has a code name. Examples: Plaidy, Lezzy, Retainer, Crunchy Grass, Red, Toddler, Captain Underpants...I could go on forever.
3. I have a baby pink and purple unicorn pillow pet sitting on my bed right next to my huge rainbow unicorn pillow pet.
4. Most websites I'm a member of (ie:facebook, blogger, pinterest, etc.) have the word peace, happy, or sparkles in my user name...
5. I'd rather spend my days associating with humans under the age of 8 than ones my own age.
6. I have an inhaler that I use daily....
7. 98% percent of my waking moments are spent either singing, dancing, jumping, laughing, sitting on the ground, or eating.
8. My heart likes me to be interested in guys that either have girlfriends, are not interested in me, or are sassy.
9. I am terrible at texting back.
10. I'm not okay with pre mature physical activity...if ya know what I mean...
11. My brain likes to create little scenarios and movies in my head about the type of guy that will sweep me off my feet and the cute things he will do to swoon me....turns out my brain is bad at picking a dream guy because I have not found one yet...!
12. I have a cough that sounds like a seal/dog/old man.
13. Sometimes I have a lisp when I get excited and talk fast.
14. I tell everyone everything about myself...therefore, I do not have the sexy mysterious thing going for me...at all.
15. I use more of my free time to browse pinterest, creep on facebook, and take naps, than I do to go to social events that may allow me to actually meet a nice singling.
16. I get confused easily and the confusion usually ruins crucial things. Example: Last time I made brownies I mixed up the water and oil measurements and ended up with pizza hut grease brownies. (Also right now I just got confused on how to spell grease...."grease? no that's like the movie. okay...greece...??...no that's a country...oh okay grease.")
17. Murphy's law loves me.
18. 98% of people think I'm the weirdest person they know the second they get a glimpse of uncensored Ronnie...."I just wanna sit under the table right now."
19. Because this is the picture of me when I go to bed at night: Hair on top of head, no makeup, double retainer metal mouth, and clothes 8 sizes too big for me....cute....
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